Privacy in family life and what goes on behind closed doors

A fifteen-year-old was recently reported that he regretted that his mother had talked about his interrail trip with a 16-year-old friend in public. This led to a series of events that took hold of the news headlines for several days. It resulted in a polarised debate about the role of the State, through its delegated responsibilities to social workers, in child protection.

Congratulations to the very professional approach taken by our colleagues in the London Borough who had to deal with the unintended consequences of this action taken by the child’s mother. As I heard the interview on the Today programme that morning, when the mother expressed her surprise that social workers would act on an anonymous referral in a child protection matter, I could not understand how it was receiving such media attention. I was impressed by the mother’s version of what she had been told and was impressed by the clarity with which the social worker had been able to express the concerns raised, what would happen next so that the mother was able to express that during the interview. So why all this media attention?

As a social worker I know that the question why? Is a stupid question that opens a Pandora’s Box of unnecessary speculation. It should never be used, but can be replaced with how?

Sadly, social workers have extensive experience of all sorts of neglect and abuse that happen behind closed doors, regardless of wealth or social position. The issues of the use and abuse of power and control in the privacy of the home and the role of social workers and their access to competent training was highlighted within days of this first media whirlwind by the Commissioner for Domestic Abuse in England and Wales, Nicole Jacobs.

In the campaign during the 1990s to establish Children’s Rights Commissioners throughout the UK I can remember a cautionary note from the Children’s Rights Ombudsman in Sweden speaking about her role. We can legislate and monitor from outside the home, but we cannot always know what is happening behind those closed doors. This is all about child protection.

There is another debate to be had, which is more nuanced. It is about the balance we need to develop as a society co-building ways to nurture confidence in moving through the transition from childhood to adulthood. This outburst of media flurry with its polarisation focusing on the actions of the social workers, has instead nurtured the blame culture rather than our own responsibilities with each other.

We work in a very complex area of relationships that people have with each other. We are often faced with ethical and legal dilemmas delegated to us by our fellow citizens through the State.

Let us not forget that we have a duty to listen to the young people within the home, or those who are silenced through power and control in relationships. It appears that the conclusion of the social work assessment that no further action would be taken, and the file destroyed if there were no new referral within 6 months. Is this over the top or is it something we have learnt is part of our duty? In keeping notes of initial contacts, this may be critical in opening of a Pandora’s box, that if we didn’t open would be leaving some young people or those controlled by more powerful others, continuing to be exposed to abuse or neglect. I know where I stand on these issues, along with colleagues throughout the world.

I hear the young person saying that he did not want his privacy in family life exposed to the media. That responsibility lies with his mother.